So I'm here instead. I would complain about how I dislike my classes for this semester, Freshman Spring '10, but I've already done it out loud so many times that I would feel like I was repeating myself.

Monday
11:00-12:15pm - Statistics
2:00-3:15pm - Financial Accounting
6:30-8:30pm - Business & Its Publics: Plenary

Tuesday
2:00-3:15pm - World Cultures: Russia Since 1917 (Lecture)
3:30-4:45pm - Business & Its Publics: Inquiry

Wednesday
11:00-12:15pm - Statistics
2:00-3:15pm - Financial Accounting

Thursday
11:00-12:15pm - Statistics
2:00-3:15pm - World Cultures: Russia Since 1917 (Lecture)
3:30-4:45pm - Business & Its Publics: Discourse

Friday
9:30-10:45am - World Cultures: Russia Since 1917 (Recitation)

My classes just sound so.. boring. And they are. Also, boo attendance grades. I have a tendency to not go to class, and this just discouraged it. :(

I feel like I'm putting unnecessary pressure on some people here with my birthday coming up. It's not like I've been announcing it or anything, but my roommate knows it's coming up and will want to have everyone celebrate it, and with birthday celebrations come gifts. The thing is, I don't feel all that close with my roommate's group of friends even though I'm always tagging along. I only feel close with her and her best friend in the group. I'd rather not the rest of her group try so hard to get me a gift just because it's my birthday because in the end, it'll probably be something very generic that I'll never use, since that's what people who don't know each other well tend to give each other. I'd prefer, if anything, just my roommate and her friend to get me something if they were to give me anything at all.

My 19th birthday is going to feel so funky because I don't know with whom I'm going to be wanting to spend it. As much as I hang out with them, I'd rather not spend my whole time with my roommate's buddies, a group in which I feel so detached.

♣ Shrin
♣ 09:01 PM eastern time on January 21, 2010

1 more time(s).

Wow, the beginning of 2009 felt so long ago, probably since I graduated high school and started college this year, two big steps of a lifetime.

I was so late cuz I was out late, first of all, and secondly, I was totally about to crash, which is why my hair's kind of messy.

I think I looked happier at the beginning of last year because I felt that 2008 was a pretty good year. I feel that I screwed up a lot in 2009, when odd-numbered years are supposed to my homeboys. :(

---

 

I think it's a good idea to have my resolutions somewhere where I can see them occasionally, so I can remind myself of my goals of the year and actually accomplish them. Otherwise I don't really do them. I like to be surprised though and see what I've actually done on my own, but then again, I always forgot about them.

Last Year's Resolutions 2009:

1. Calm down. People, even my friends, are starting to think I'm way louder than needed. I don't want my annoying loud-ness to boil over into NYU and have haters there as well. - OMG. Reading the last part especially regarding college is a big NO to having accomplished this. I definitely did not calm down, and I guess people aren't big fans of un-calm people, I've learned.
2. Survive with good habits in college. Learn to budget wisely. Eat healthily. Sleep well. - Awww man... I think I've somewhat budgeted wisely because I've started to spend less; I might eat more healthily than usual, but I'm still eating late at night; and I definitely don't sleep well. What a fail.
3. As Livia said, be more comfortable in my skin and let loose. I don't dress up because I'm scared. I don't even know why. It's just not me. I'm an awkward person. - First half of the year plus the beginning of college, I was definitely a lot more comfortable in my skin, but as I realized the effects of my craziness, for lack of a better term, in college, I started being a LOT more self-conscious than I've ever felt before, a LOT more self-conscious than I needed to be and I don't even know why. I think it's because of how lonely I felt and how much I had reverted back to square one it seemed, to the point where it didn't feel like I had accomplished anything in life after high school. I reallyy reallyyy need to work on this this year. I've been telling myself this everyday for a while now. (1/2)
4. Own at East Asian languages. More specifically, be able to formulate a few useful sentences on my own in Korean and speak Chinese better by maybe speaking it more often or listening to it/reading it more. Ha, two of last year's morphed into one. - OMG. First resolution that I've fully accomplished. Thank goodness for NYU's Speaking Freely program, plus my amazing ability to learn grammar this winter break. 한국말 배웠어!
5. Manage time more wisely. That way I can get enough sleep. Don't put off homework. Scheduling time frames is good. I actually follow day-by-day things better when I write out exactly what I should do, even though I don't really do it half the time. D: - Eh. I need to learn to write more specific resolutions. IDK if my time was managed more wisely. I think I might've done work well, a bit? The only reason I had to cram for finals was because I really didn't do any of the reading in the beginning in the semester when I really should have. So maybe this was not accomplished.
6. Learn to cook at least a dish. I'm a really sad female. I don't know how to cook. I should at least learn one so I can more easily learn others when I have to. I won't survive the world otherwise. - Oh hey, I made Spinach Chicken Alfredo on my own I remember! Even if I was following a recipe. I can also make chicken quesadillas too. :D
7. Keep in touch with friends. College separates many people. I still want to see the people I've cared about these years. - Yeah, I think I kept in touch. The Internet is amazing.
8. Sell off books and clothes that I don't want anymore. Half-Price Books and Plato's Closet are good places to check out. Either that or donate. I'm heading towards the next phase of my life. I don't need clutter. - That's what I did this summer! :]
9. Audition for a play in college. I feel like doing this for fun, as a risk to take. I'm always behind the scenes. Maybe it'd be a nice change and it might give me a fresh new perspective on things when I'm the one being directed. That is, if I get a part. But this is my stretch resolution. Kind of like a dare. It's exciting. - I actually would have if there was anything that I was interested in. I did audition for the American version of Skins though, so I think that counts.
10. Film some kind of short, story or music video. I really want to experience the production process again, but I don't have the guts to. Time to get over it. - Yeah, totally never got around to doing that. I remember making a lot of storyboards thoug-- OMG. I actually did do that at Stern. Holy crap. I didn't feel completely involved though because I totally didn't do my producer job the way I wanted to.
    

---

I hadn't really been writing in here the past year, so I think I'm gonna skip the first couple sentences of the first entry of each month and just run through an overview of the year 2009.

January - Beauty and the Beast.

February - Became legal.

March - So many birthdays to celebrate. Got closer to the guys during Spring Break. Started cutting off a certain friendship.

April - End of my Theater career. Asking of the Prom Dates. Finishing EHS.

May - Finished with a lot of stuff. Just chilling with parties and whatnot. Some drifting.

June - Graduated. Hawaii & China. Registered for college classes. Really love my relatives.

July - Japan. Returning after a long period away from friends. HIMYM marathoning into August. 

August - Friends leaving. Closer to Carolyn after crazy crazy night. Hello NYC.

September - Orientation & College starting. Met Max & Tre. Free Phoenix show at Soho. Phoenix/Passion Pit concert!

October - Midterms. D: Things going well with Tre. :(

November - Talk Like Singing! Back home after a few months for Thanksgiving break. Max moved out.

December - Holiday Extravaganza. Finals. End of Semester 1.

What. I really couldn't recall too many fantastic things that happened this past year. Well that's crappy.

I do recall, however, being extremely satisfied with life in the first few months of the year, embracing every new day with joy because I had friends and time to spend with them. The twins and I also had our monthly Earl of Sandwich runs to catch up with news, which were such a breath of fresh air from my usual life. I guess those were the highlights of the year.

Also, the first day of your period is a great way to start off the new year. Now that looking back at 2009 made it seem like a bit of a disappointment, maybe it can only get better in 2010? Let's hope so.

♣ Shrin
♣ 05:17 AM eastern time on January 2, 2010
♣ TAG: Meme-likes

Go again.

As much as I'm currently trying to learn to be independent, I still can't help but feel lonely instead. Independent and lonely involve the same concept, being by yourself, but the former embodies strength while the latter conveys unhappiness.

Even as I walk back to my dorm with a small group of people, I still feel more alone than ever as everyone talks amongst themselves while I merely walk alongside them through the dark blue night, apart from all the separate conversations.

Someone once told me that if you look at the time, and the digits are all the same, then someone is thinking of you at the moment. I'm looking at my computer time and it's 3:33 am. I'd like to believe that someone is thinking of me at this moment, but is anyone awake with me?

♣ Shrin
♣ 03:33 AM eastern time on December 6, 2009

1 more time(s).

First entry of New York while two months in. It doesn't seem so special then.

Tonight, I rode the top of a charter bus on my way back to my dorm from ice skating in Central Park. As we drove through Times Square, the refreshing cold wind blew against my face and I was surrounded by bright lights and the excitement of the bustling crowd and cars.

It made me realize how much I love this city. New York is just such an exciting place to be.

♣ Shrin
♣ 01:33 AM eastern time on November 11, 2009

Go again.

I spent today with Iris, since it was her last day. Of course, we spent it as we would any other day, sitting and eating and talking and reading magazines at her kitchen table. We watched 4 episodes of How I Met Your Mother and spent at least an hour trying to figure out the Rubix Cube algorithms, haha.

But when it was about time for me to leave, I felt sad for a moment when I said good-bye because thoughts of college came up, but then everything felt normal again.

It's not because I'm not going to miss her though. I realized that my friendships with my Austin friends were based on distance. I spent the older days of our youth not being within 15 minutes of them. We didn't get many chances to see each other because we lived in different parts of the county. We were friends because we were able to still be friends despite not seeing each other all the time.

That's why when I said good-bye to Iris today, it felt different from Lauren and Callie's good-byes. Iris and I have always had occasional hang outs, so it didn't feel like that big of a change. We are just moving even further away now, but we're used to not being that close anyway.

Same thing with the rest of my Austin friends. I texted Carolyn and Linda their good-byes, but I didn't feel like I was losing them. I called Tiffany while she was packing. As for Kathryn and Melinda, they're still in Houston, so I feel like they're still here anyway. Their good-byes come when I leave.

I don't know how long I'll call them my Austin friends, since they technically don't go to Austin anymore. I feel they need a different collective name from my Elkins friends because they are definitely a different group of people. I guess as I grow older, they might be called my middle school friends. Aww.

♣ Shrin
♣ 02:53 AM eastern time on August 22, 2009
♣ TAG: those essays i seem to write

Go again.

misGRAFFED v9 © Shrin 2005-2009. Layout created and coded by Shrin. Header pics from random pics saved on comp, hosted on Photobucket. "Misgraffed" is from A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act I, scene I, line 139.

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