Tabulas changed our URLs, so now to access here, it's http://shrin.tabulas.com. Save that to yall's Favorites, 'kay? :D
AHS, when do yall have band practice? Every day after school 'til 7?
Operation: Make Lynda Hate Me (Even Though She Probably Already Does)
That girl is sooo annoying and I don't think anyone in our class actually hates her. D: Except maybe this one girl from Bush. But yeah, WTFFFFF. Now I understand what you guys were talking about back in freshman year.
I will start Tuesday. We have a sub so it makes it easier. I don't really know how I should start off this plan but hopefully I succeed! Wish me luck.
Remember the days when we had targets? I had forgotten all about them until I decided to look back at my entries. So yeah, this is sorta like that, except it's making an enemy. :D So everyone, tell me all about this stupid girl, what she dislikes, likes, that sorta stuff, 'kay?
On to some deep thinking, so if yall don't like to ponder, ignore?
When you like someone, you want them to like you back. Because you always want your feelings reciprocated. But when you find out that they like someone else, two things can happen.
Number one, you try to make him not like her, by maybe saying some bad stuff about her or whatnot. This makes you seem like a bad person. When you do this though, I think your feelings are shallow. Like, "I want him for myself!" You also end up hating the girl he likes or something, most likely out of jealousy.
Number two, you help him get to her. You do what you can to strengthen their relationship or something. You must really like him if you're willing to do that for him and not yourself.
Kazu from First Kiss said that when in love, you discover a new you. That statement really hit me. When you like someone, for some really really weird reason, you act a bit different around them. You treat them differently maybe? You might not notice it yourself but it's there. I'm not saying that at such a young age we experience "love", but we're pretty close to it.
Out of the two times I've liked someone, I've realized that I tried to help them be happy for themselves, and pretty much left myself out of their picture. I think the first time was a bit more shallow than the second time though. Because I ended up getting mad or jealous or something. It took me four years to like someone again. That second time, I did absolutely NOTHING for myself. I pretty much sacrificed myself for him or something like that. It was really idiotic. Why does it do this to you? I know it wasn't anything really meaningful and it definitely wasn't a big deal but like, why the heck did I act that way anyway?
The admirable woman from Hotaru no Hikari talked about how if you could easily give up on the person you liked, your feelings were probably really shallow in the first place then. Such as finding out they had a girlfriend or someone they liked already, and you decided that you had no way of him ever liking you back, so you just stopped liking him right there. I'm extremely hard on myself. I don't know why, but I just can't seem to allow myself to be happy. When I found the second one to already have someone whom he loved to death, I told myself to give up. Why is it that I can easily give up on everything but I just couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, give up during the time I was with him?
I see a pattern amongst people when they like someone. I can tell when they really like someone, that they help them along no matter what. In Hotaru, there's a chain of people liking each other, but they don't do anything sneaky to break up anyone. They keep rooting for each other to succeed for themselves. I have a friend who liked this guy but all she did was try to find someone to hook him up with because she said that he was just too nice and cool a guy to not have a girlfriend. When the second was having girlfriend problems, I desperately tried to think up ways to help him. I didn't know what to do though because I had absolutely no experience in the subject.
Nowadays, I don't see as many people using underhanded tactics to get to the person they like as before. So do the objects of affection have any idea what certain people are going through for them? I'm not saying that they must be liked back, but what would be going through their minds if they found out?
Gah, ok, this is such a complicated topiccc... I just had to let some thoughts out, so they're kinda all over the place. Sorry if you think I'm a retard now for writing about this.
♣ Shrin
♣ 12:49 PM eastern time on September 1, 2007
♣ MOOD: thoughtful
